I Dance In Strange Places
Why Saying NO Can Help You GROW!
For all you people please-rs out there… how easy is it to say YES??
If you’re anything like me, you may find yourself volunteering your time all over the place as if life is one long ’recess’ and we’re all living on monopoly money. The truth is, our time is sooo valuable! It’s not just free monopoly money. You and your time are WORTH much, much more than you’re giving yourself credit for.
Sometimes we might feel selfish for saying NO to something. Well here’s what I have to say to that: your time spent on others is only as valuable as you are, and you are only as valuable as the time you spend on yourself. Confusing? Think about it for a minute. If we spend all of our time only on those around us and forget about ourselves, how valuable are we really? Not so much.
Another reason why saying NO is tough is the thought of disappointing another. The yes-friendly people out there will do anything to avoid letting others down! To better understand, here’s a scenario: you say yes to something you don’t have time for because you didn’t want to let that person down. Now, you’re scrambling to fit the rest of your priorities in your schedule…. you run yourself down in the process… AND end up feeling stressed. Who wins here? It’s a lose, lose situation. You didn’t want to give your time in the first place so you are likely not giving your full energy/commitment. Moreover, you now have zero time to yourself and end up feeling sick over all of it. This pattern is ‘oh-so-common,’ but it fails to serve anyone.
Let’s practice saying NO!
Think about those times we CHOSE to say NO to something we knew we couldn’t accomplish. Leading up to it may be extremely scary… almost nerve-wracking. If you’re used to saying yes, saying NO may feel completely foreign and unnatural to you! However, saying NO gives us the opportunity to GROW. It’s a chance to listen to your soul and express your true feelings with no expectations of a favourable response. As scary as it is, it allows us to CHOOSE to stay on the divine path you know you are meant to follow. It’s an intuitive choice. When we follow that inner voice or gut feeling, we feel centered and aligned with the Uni-verse. The moment after we say NO to something we know isn’t right, there is a feeling of extreme lightness. A feeling of peace and love for yourself for doing what was right for you.
So go ahead, say YES when it’s right, but beware of the consequences of choosing to keep your ‘NO’ tightly sealed away.
Take care of yourself. You can’t help others when you’re running on empty with murky fuel.
Take the time to FUEL UP with people, things, and practices that give you energy, vitality and love. Choose the cleanest fuel possible!
Next time you have a choice to make, take some time to ask yourself if it’s the right thing to do. We all want to give to others, but the most important person who you need to give to is YOURSELF.
Give to YOU!
~nz
Life is full of ‘spectrums’. An infinite path laced with scenarios and possibilities. We are all within the spectrum one way or another. However, where we are within the spectrum is ultimately up to us.
Along a spectrum, there are only two directions to go: towards or away. For example: a common spectrum would be love vs. fear. We are either moving towards love, or away from it….aka, towards fear. The tricky concept to grasp is that it is impossible to be at both ends at the same time. You cannot BE fear in the presence of love. Similarly, you cannot BE love when you are in a fearful state.
Anything in life that we can observe and reflect upon can be viewed in the light of a spectrum. We can look at our lives as a whole, or break it down into specific situations that are arising in our lives right now.
Once we observe, we have the opportunity to make CHOICES that will drive us towards what we desire, or take us further away.
HOW you might ask…
To get closer towards one end of the spectrum, all you need to do is add more of what you desire! If it’s love, add more love into your life. Feel more love. Surround yourself with loving people and the fear will dissolve.
It’s such a powerful, yet incredibly scary concept, that life and the quality of our lives is in our own hands. We have the ability to thrive or suffer. Yet, most people want to blame the world, other people, places or things for their circumstances. It’s easier to do that than to take ownership that maybe you got yourself into a messy situation in the first place.
Now, we’re at the best part! What are some current situations in your life where you are sliding towards the negative end of the spectrum? If both ends are equally possible, wouldn’t you rather be at the positive end? Think of ways you can bring yourself closer to that desired state, or outcome.
If the spectrum has an endless array of possibilities, don’t you want the BEST possible one?
I sure do, and so should you.
You deserve nothing but the BEST.
Do yourself a favour and apply this concept to something happening in your life RIGHT NOW.
Make a decision regarding where you want to go and take the necessary ACTION in order to get there.
You WILL get there!
YAY for endless possibilities!!
Live Fully,
~nz
Push Your Limits!
I just wanted to share a quick blog post about my recent experience. I announced that I was going to do another 21 day challenge after my success with my first one. This time, I chose something even more difficult than the first. I chose to eat a vegan diet for 21 days. I also ate gluten free and stayed away from coffee. The experience was wonderful. I feel happier, stronger, more energetic and excited about life. When you achieve a goal you set for yourself, it only gives you fuel and momentum to continue growing in a positive direction.
WHY did I do this, you might wonder? To PUSH MY LIMITS! That’s why! Too many times in our lives we sit in comfort with “the way things are,” rather than deciding “what they should be”.
Have you ever heard the line: “If you aren’t growing, you’re dying”?
This is the TRUTH! If we never stretch our limits and break down the limiting beliefs that hold us back from developing, then we are essentially metaphorically ”dying.” It is in growing that we learn about ourselves: our thoughts, feelings, beliefs and attitudes that shape our lives and the very scenarios that are unfolding around us.
BUT…. now here is the big BUT that we all face when “going here.” BUT what if it’s hard, BUT what if it’s uncomfortable, BUT I don’t know what will happen, BUT I’m scared, BUT…BUT…BUT!!! (enough BUT’s, you get the picture! ;))
The way I like to answer this is, BUT WHAT? What’s the worst that can happen? How will you know until you try? Your fear of stretching yourself is stopping you from reaching your goals, dreams, and ambitions in life! In fact, most of our fears are just thoughts that we’ve turned into “beliefs” about what COULD happen, not what WILL happen. At the end of the day, these thoughts aren’t true!! Have you even been in a situation where a thought pops into your mind that’s quite bizarre and you need to give your head a shake because you know it’s totally not true? These unconscious, false thoughts happen ALL the time! It’s when we BELIEVE these thoughts, that we give them power and energy and this power limits us from achieving what will truly bring us happiness, fulfillment, peace and love.
SO, what’s holding you back in your life today?
What are some beliefs that are limiting you from living your truth?
Question these beliefs and ask yourself where they came from. You will find that many of them you made up yourself and they are surely not serving you any purpose!
LET GO of the old and create new, empowering stories about your life.
Stretch your limits.
Make some goals.
Make a DECISION to take ACTION.
Remember: What you choose to do today affects your tomorrow.
Live Full,
~nz
21 Days- The Magic Number
Many people have heard that it takes 21 days to break a habit. If you don’t believe me, just pick up one of the countless books written on the subject, or simply google it. Knowing this, I decided to try an experiment for myself.
I was waking up every morning crawling to the coffee maker in desperation for my AM antidote. There were mornings when I would run out of time and rush to the office without my morning cup of Joe. I’d be sitting at my desk staring at my screen with my eyes closing. I’ve actually leaned back in my chair and fell asleep at my desk. REALLY??? This nap-like state first thing in the morning is NOT normal and it’s definitely NOT healthy. Not only was I consuming copious amounts of coffee in the mornings, but my tolerance went up causing me to drink throughout the day AND night.
Why was this happening to me?
A few reasons come to mind. Firstly, I love the taste of the stuff. From the time my father let me try a sip of his decaf coffee way back in the day I was hooked.
Secondly, I started enjoying the culture of coffee drinking. In a sense, it connects you with many people. Just walk into a Tim’s or Starbucks and look around at the customers in line with you. Everyone looks the other in the eye with that secret excitement that they too, are getting their ‘special’ coffee fix. It’s a connection that most people crave on a daily basis.
Lastly, I’m addicted to the buzz. Aren’t we all? Just give me my cup of coffee and I’m moving quicker, thinking faster and have all the energy in the world to accomplish anything.
Unfortunately, there’s a crash. This crash leads to another cup to chase the high again. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that everyone is this dependent on caffeine. All I know is that I was, and that this type of dependence on an external source was unhealthy. In a sense, it was controlling my life. You would never think that something so simple could cause so much havoc, but many health professionals link caffeine in the same category as drugs, alcohol and sugar.
NOTE: Not everyone reacts the same way to caffeine. Every person is different. One persons pain is another ones pleasure.
A glimpse of the process:
Week 1 is always the hardest. You miss the routine that you’ve become so accustomed to. Our brains are so used to our habits that they become hardwired to need these things. This week is all about breaking the synopses connected to the brain. The habit itself is mostly a ’brain-thing’ anyways. The mind is extremely powerful. It’s tough, but we are stronger than we think!
Week 2- you miss your vice, but you are somehow managing to survive. At this point you might want to cave, but you’ve already come this far that it seems pointless to give in.
Week 3- you are starting to feel like a superhero. Your cravings have gone away and you start regaining energy. By the end of three weeks you don’t miss a thing. It’s a feeling that cannot be described, only experienced.
When I was in a state of caffeine dependence, I literally couldn’t fathom the idea of going without. “I have so much to accomplish today”. “I can’t afford to be tired”. ”I can’t do it”! The best way to put it: you can only do it when you’re ready. You can only do it if you WANT to change. No one can tell you what to do. Only YOU can.
What helped me through the process?
Before becoming caffeine dependent I was a tea-lover. I grew up with tea and it became a norm in my household. When coffee came into the picture, tea seemed weak and bland. I have now re-discovered my love for tea during this time. I drink white, green, rooibos… you name it! Not only is tea extremely healthy, I completely enjoy the experience and it makes me feel GOOD.
(I’m not saying that I’ll never experience a cup of coffee again… that’s not the point! I would love to enjoy a CUP from time to time. I’m just excited that I no longer depend on it to live.)
What’s next?
I am feeling SO strong that I’ve decided to take on another challenge.
Currently, I mostly eat a plant-based diet with occasional organic animal products. I’ve always been a fan of plant-based diets for their extreme health benefits. However, I’ve never gone completely vegan for more than a few days. This leads me to my next challenge: I’ve decided to go 21 days on a vegan diet and document the entire process. Not only am I doing this for health reasons, but personal ethics as well. Knowing and understanding what goes on in our dysfunctional food industry makes me turned off from consuming any animal products. I’m excited to begin this journey and to see where it takes me.
At the end of the day, life is what you make of it. Humans are a strong species, but we live in a society that doesn’t support us. Our society does not help us thrive. That’s when we realize that we have to essentially ‘work’ at creating a life that does support us. Past the drugs, chemicals, technology, pollutants, media and violence, we are living creatures ‘living’ on this earth. Anytime we can get away from all of the noise and garbage, we can get closer to experiencing a life of FREEDOM.
What can you FREE yourself from today?
Take on a challenge.
Do it for YOU.
The reward is a more free, energetic, and happy YOU.
~nz
~More of the ‘good stuff’ is natural medicine for the soul. How can you add some MORE today? Amidst the buzz of your day, intent on experiencing MORE of at least one special thing. Once you do, you’ll want MORE and irrevocably, the positive frequency of love, pleasure and enjoyment shall be experienced.~ nz
(Source: beyondboundjournals, via burnsthoughts)
How Choosing To Focus Can Increase Your Overall Happiness
“The shorter way to do many things is to do only one thing at a time.”
~Mozart
We have become a culture obsessed with multitasking. Eating our morning toast in the car, scarfing down dinner while watching TV/surfing the net, driving while talking on the phone… and the list goes on. Our minds are being pulled in a million directions all day long. What do you think that does to our body and soul? Perhaps we become tense, anxious and spacey. Nonetheless, it’s a problem.
Like I said, we are constantly being interrupted during the task at hand. We are being bombarded and overloaded with stimulants, especially noises and visual distractions. We end up dabbling in numerous tasks, never quite in a present state. We’re doing one thing, but our mind is on another. We are never fully in tune with what we are actually doing, failing to give 100% in each given moment.
What are the consequences??
When we multitask, the quality of the finished product is sub par. Just think if you gave the task all of your thought and energy versus part of it. The outcome would be substantially different.
Another issue with multitasking is that we end up taking forever to get things done! With lack of focus on the desired task, it takes much longer to finish it.
Lastly, if we live our lives multitasking, we lose our sense of fulfillment. Think back to a time when you gave it your ‘all’. How did it feel? What was the outcome? What was the overall quality like? I guarantee you were proud of it.
Now, think back to a time when you completed something with half of your energy. Likely, it took you twice as long to finish and the results weren’t anything to write home about.
Let me further explain multitasking versus focusing with an example. Two scenarios:
- You are sitting in front of the TV or computer eating your dinner. Before you know it, the meal is gone and you can’t really remember how long it took you to eat it, much less what it tasted like.
- You sit down at your dining table and eat your meal bite by bite, noticing the flavours, textures and aromas.
….We can choose to see and encourage the best in others. And when we do that, a strange thing starts to happen – the best of who they are begins to emerge.
… The mind seeks knowledge as a handle on the cosmos from which it gains leverage for greater control and self-satisfaction, but synchronicity will not allow itself to be used so roughly. Like the flea (on the ‘iron bull’), we must eventually give up our effort to penetrate the impenetrable and surrender to a reality which we cannot master but to which we must submit. In the end, to be honest to our exploration or synchronicity we must ourselves surrender to it. This means to relax and allow the sometimes fickle tide of fate to take its natural course, to let it wash over and benignly carry us. We must sacrifice the urgent, petty agendas of the ego to a larger field or participation. We must learn humility and own humor, finding guidance in intuition and making logic a servant rather than master. Control is a personal experience, surrender is a transpersonal one. Through surrender we learn to move with the rhythms that flow through our existence and in so doing open ourselves to the wellsprings of life that are the gift of the divine Trickster.
